Common Things Between Parents Who Have Successful Kids
Every parent wants their babies to grow up and be happy and successful. While it is true that only time will tell, parents have the responsibility to direct their children in the right direction. Parents, what expectations do you have for your kids?
1. High expectations
Using data from a national survey of 6,600 children born in 2001, University of California, Los Angeles professor Neal Halfon and his colleagues discovered that the expectations parents hold for their kids have a huge effect on attainment.
“Parents who saw college in their child’s future seemed to manage their child toward that goal irrespective of their income and other assets,”
Standardized tests showed that 57% of the kids who did the worst were expected to attend college by their parents, while 96% of the kids who did the best were expected to go to college.
There’s a term used in psychology known as a self-fulfilling prophecy and its states that what one person expects of oneself or another, that can serve to come true because subconsciously you will make it happen. This is why kids always want to live up to their parent’s expectations.
2. A higher socioeconomic status
It is no lie that a fifth of American children grow up in poverty, a situation that severely limits their potential in an endless cycle.
However, according to Stanford University researcher Sean Reardon, this situation is getting to be more extreme. The achievement gap between high and low-income families “is roughly 30% to 40% larger among children born in 2001 than among those born 25 years earlier.”
“Absent comprehensive and expensive interventions, socioeconomic status is what drives much of educational attainment and performance,”
3. Higher educational levels
Life father and mother, like son and daughter. This is true according to a 2014 study lead by University of Michigan where psychologist Sandra Tang found that mothers who finished high school or college were more likely to raise kids that did the same.
Using a group of over 14,000 children who entered kindergarten in 1998 to 2007, the study found that children born to teen moms were less likely to finish high school or go to college than their counterparts.
4. Provide early academic skills
The earlier you get your kids active in receiving an education, the better. A 2007 meta-analysis of 35,000 preschoolers across the US, Canada, and England found that developing math skills early can turn into a really huge advantage.
“The paramount importance of early math skills — of beginning school with a knowledge of numbers, number order, and other rudimentary math concepts — is one of the puzzles coming out of the study,” co-author and Northwestern University researcher Greg Duncan said in a press release. “Mastery of early math skills predicts not only future math achievement, it also predicts future reading achievement.”
5. Offer sensitive caregiving
It’s important to build a pure connection with your kids. You are after all, their everything. A 2014 study of 243 people born into poverty found that children who received “sensitive caregiving” in their first three years did better in academic tests in childhood. This will have a lasting effect on your child.
6. Avoid junk time with kids
You need to start monitoring your time with your babies. They won’t stay little for long and before you know it, they will give you backtalk and stay out late at night.
“Mothers’ stress, especially when mothers are stressed because of the juggling with work and trying to find time with kids, that may actually be affecting their kids poorly,” study co-author and Bowling Green State University sociologist Kei Nomaguchi told the Post.
Emotional contagion (the psychological phenomenon where people “catch” feelings from one another like they would a cold) explains most of this. Research shows that if your friend is happy, that brightness will infect you; if she’s sad, that gloominess will transfer as well. So if a parent is exhausted or frustrated, that emotional state could transfer to the kids. Create a happy home!
7. Teach a growth mindset
Enjoy them while they are young! Instruct your child on the do’s and don’ts of early life.
A “fixed mindset” assumes that our character, intelligence, and creative ability are static givens which we can’t change in any meaningful way, and success is the affirmation of that inherent intelligence, an assessment of how those givens measure up against an equally fixed standard; striving for success and avoiding failure at all costs become a way of maintaining the sense of being smart or skilled.
A “growth mindset,” on the other hand, thrives on challenge and sees failure not as evidence of un-intelligence but as a heartening springboard for growth and for stretching our existing abilities.
At the core is a distinction in the way you assume your will affects your ability, and it has a powerful effect on kids. If kids are told that they aced a test because of their innate intelligence, that creates a “fixed” mindset. If they succeeded because of effort, that teaches a “growth” mindset.-Stanford University psychologist Carol Dweck
So when you praise your kids, don’t congratulate them for being so smart, commend them for working so hard because that’s the most valuable part.