Sex Pointers From Sex Experts
Its never easy starting a conversation about sex. “It’s tough to initiate a conversation about sex,” says Charlie Glickman, Ph.D., founder of MakeSexEasy.com. “We think things should always be spontaneous and great, and talking about issues or giving a guy guidance is a red flag. But really, it’s a red flag if you can’t discuss this stuff.”
Do You Need More Foreplay?
What to do when he tries to just dive in there: say this: “You want that? First, you’ve gotta work for it,”
“It’s not a critique about his technique. It’s about making things as naughty and as playful as you want them to be.” says Megan Fleming, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in New York City.
“Focus on one move he does that you love,” suggests sexologist Jessica O’Reilly, Ph.D., author of Hot Sex Tips, Tricks and Licks. “‘That thing you do with your tongue? Never want it to end.’ You’re couching it as wanting more of something he’s already doing.”
Remember, men like to think that they’re the best in bed.
“Tell him tonight’s all about fun without penetrative sex,” Fleming says. That boy will jump at the chance to be on the receiving end.
Why not try making a bucket list, or just a list in general : “The brainstorming is like pre-foreplay,” O’Reilly says. “And once you’re in one of your situations, your anticipation will be even higher, since you know this is something you both want.”
The Next time you stop yourself from saying something inappropriate while you’re watching some hot movie or TV sex scene, actually say it out loud!
Need To Slow Down?
“Don’t just ask him to pump the breaks—explain clearly why,” O’Reilly says. (“Can you go slower? I like to feel every move.”) And don’t be afraid to say “That kind of hurts.” Glickman adds: “Sex won’t be pleasurable to him if he thinks he’s hurting you.”
Remember that you can control the pace.
One of the hotter things you can say to him: “I’m so close, I want to come with you.” Not only is it a tantalizing thing for anyone to hear, Fleming says, “it shifts the focus to being about improving your mutual experience.”