4 Stages Of A Failing Marriage

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Have You Ever Wondered Where Divorce Stems From?

In this day and age divorce is rampant. It seems that more and more people want freedom, and independence from their spouse. But where does all this stem from? Do people just wake up one day and decide they just don’t love their husband/wife?

You can read every book you could find. You can go to therapy, workshops, and seminars and but that feeling will always be there. You just KNOW something isn’t right with the two of you.

Similar to the four stages of cancer, marriages that end deteriorate in four distinctive and predictable stages. Once a marriage moves from stage one to two, it will ultimately die if nothing is done about it.

1. Disillusionment. This is when you first become aware, “Uh oh, I may be unhappy in this relationship. I’ll just sit with it and see if it’s serious or just a phase.”

2. Erosion. You begin to realize that this is something serious. “It IS serious. This could lead to divorce … Oh wait, I am NOT going to divorce because (place your many reasons here). I’ll just have to accept it and keep going.” Your partner will also begin to notice signs of your unhappiness through snide or sarcastic remarks or passive aggressive behaviors.

3. Detachment. “My unhappiness is getting worse! I will find a way to survive and find some happiness for myself by detaching and involving myself in activities that take me away from him/her like (put your activity here … it may be an affair, going back to work or school, travel, working out, etc)”.  This will somehow become obvious to the people who know you. You may also feel less guilty about being flirtatious.

4. Point of no return. This is the straw that will break the camels back. It’s the moment of clarity that one day arrives … we don’t know when or how or whether it will be over something big or small, but it will happen. When your partner says or does one last thing that causes all fog to lift and a personal declaration of, “You know what? I won’t be married to someone who would do (or say) something like that!” In this very moment, every feeling off disappointment and anger and everything you wish your marriage was but isn’t… this is when it all gets released. In that moment the decision to let the marriage die is made, and the brutal truth is often revealed to the spouse then or very soon after.

Please, if you love your family and you want to keep it cultivated, treat relationship issues seriously and deal with them quickly. Don’t be afraid to talk about things THE RIGHT WAY.

Source: Huffington Post